Author: ashton

Reintroducing Fluent in Blonde: The Reboot

If I know anything now, it’s that everyone has been emotionally cheese grated. You included. I think that’s what bonds us.  …unless there is a pandemic, then ammo and sourdough starters bond us. Experiencing real grief for the first time was my most recent of these experiences. Very poetically speaking, grief is life’s real double

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To Live Will be an Awfully Great Adventure

Okay, hi. Did you make it through my previous post? That was a long one. Now we can have some real talk. …because this is maybe the sloppiest post I’ve ever written. I just can’t make it flow, like the OMGIHAVENTSEENYOUINTHREEYEARSHOWAREYOU kind of conversation you yell at your long lost friend at school pickup: both

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A Note To My Kids About Storms

Published October 2018 To my babies, It’s my wish that you never feel any pain, any true sorrow. As anyone knows, you know, life. It will happen. (I’m your mom, so I have to tell you about what to do about this. It will be included in the “Life Skills” pamphlet I’ll be giving you in kindergarten, later published in a larger

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Time Unwatched

Published March 2018 I once read that time unwatched is its own treasure. It’s a double edged sword, that time unwatched thing. I cycle through both sides of it every day. Although the “unwatched” detail is a bit unintentional in my situation, due in part to being frazzled with three kids four and under, I’ve very much treasured this

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A Letter To My Daughter

Published January 2018 My Little Girl, We are getting anxious for your arrival. I know you’ll be joining our family soon, purely based on my polar opposite emotions: sudden, irrational worrying about really stupid things, followed by an overwhelming desire to lie down and not care, and back to the panicked feeling of unpreparedness that impairs my ability to just lie down…all during the consumption of

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Shayne’s Lady Lounge

Published January 2018 I can’t post about Shayne’s room without giving a big shout out to my Fantasy Football league for giving me all their money last season to fund it. Boom. I debated whether or not this is an annoying post, but every time I walk by Shayne’s room, I smile. It’s not anything incredible, but

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My Most Sunny Days Always Leave Me Teary

Published April 2017 There is a wonder I experience as a new mom, crossing new bridges as my oldest child does the same. My kids are approaching the real pearl of childhood. At almost two and three, the sleepless nights are behind us. My boys are both talking and expressing their own, hilarious thoughts, and I feel that new-mom isolation

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