Recently, we had a very rare unicorn of a day with no. Plans. NO PLANS. Except for me. I had plans for a little napaccino. Maybe create a new and delightfully inappropriate gym playlist with all the Lils and Youngs, that I would inevitably enjoy interchangeably between both high adrenaline gym reps AND driving to

Happy New Year, Fluent in Blonde family. My star New Year’s resolution this year is to move to the South for a while; “a while” meaning however long it takes for my kids to develop a deep accent baptized in gravy. I’m positive that whatever shortcomings I have in raising my babies to be great

To the moms that refer to themselves as “just a mom:” You are everything that I hope to become. Let me back up before I continue. I was raised by a father who grew up farming. I legitimately don’t know if you’ve ever seen a man with bigger calves or more muscular hands. The ability

It’s no secret that my kids getting older absolutely skewers me. Particularly because my situation is not such to be having more babies, I cling to every last bit of sand sliding through the hourglass of early childhood. But, wait. Wait, wait, wait. There are a few things I don’t miss, actually. Like no sleep,

Most worthwhile hair products are an investment; however, there is one that should NOT be. In my humble, possibly unpopular opinion: DO NOT splurge on this item. Huge waste. (Cue Trump’s “huuuuge” pronunciation.) Fluent in Blonde may not be an accredited source to cite, but as your stylist friend, I’m here to do you a

After corralling my kids to their bedtime showers the other night, I spent nearly thirty minutes policing my two boys about brushing their teeth. I put Shayne to bed while I heard the sink running in what I’d assumed was surrendered compliance, and was surprised when I walked into their bedroom. “Buddy, are you bleeding?