Today was one of my favorite days of summer: a rainy one.
Drizzly summer days trump all summer holidays!
Growing up in New Mexico during distinct July monsoon seasons makes me nostalgic during summer rain, and the Las Vegas heat makes me welcome it tenfold.
I loved thundering desert afternoons and nights when I was little. My neighbor friends and I loved taking our time walking home during late afternoon downpours. I loved how the hot cement warmed the rainwater. At night, my dad made an event out of lightning watching, or else I would have been terrified! We watched for different bolts, sheet lightning (which is not “sheep” lightning), and counted the seconds between lightning and thunder. I’m sure Brian has similar memories growing up in Arizona!
Las Vegas gets a mild taste of it. We enjoyed being at home this afternoon, cozied up on a rainy Sunday.
I ended the day with zero clouds and sun blinding me through my windshield. I spent a solid bit driving an abruptly and uncharacteristically inconsolable baby around in the car, aimlessly touring the entire westside to lull my usually quiet, angel lady to sleep.
We were both in tears for most of it.
Mine were tired tears. Just a few.
Then, they were snowball tears. The kind that carry with them built up frustrations and anxieties, and when one escapes, more just fall out of your eyes all at once, and you hope no one notices you cried, because you have no real explanation? You know? One topic of teardom snowballs into another, and leads to another, and leads to another…you do know, right? If this is unfamiliar, you’re a man, aren’t you?
Topics of irrational, I-haven’t-slept-all-week tears: the fear of future unknowns. Balancing life. And, always, how to keep the world out of my kids.
I pulled over to fish a binky out of the car seat, and the lyrics to a Primary song from church played.
“Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
for these are the things Jesus taught.”
I lack answers and wisdom in most all categories, but today, those simple lyrics were striking and calming. It was a real “Life, for 500” answer today. I can’t control much around me, but I am in charge of my demeanor and actions. I have no parenting answers, but this. This is a key.
I came home with a sleeping baby, reheated old dinner, and am hanging onto these lyrics as my inspirational cheat code for whatever this week brings. Let kindness, love, and gentleness be my reaction and my priority, and things will fall into place.
(My friend, Chelsea, shared a new gas station location with TWO types of pebble ice in their caffeinated beverages, so I’m predicting major kindness. With vigor!)