Is your kitchen floor clean because you swept, or because you led your child on a cereal foraging expedition across the floor?
Do you make actual pig sounds when reading books and singing “Old McDonald,” or do you say, “Oink?”
I have failed at both these things today. My oinks were feeling throaty, so I skipped over them completely and only said, “Baaa,” at the sheep. No bleating.
I feel pretty fine about this. Yeah, pretty average about it, UNTIL I go on Instagram and all the other moms are making homemade, edible playdough and dozens of Pinterest projects. They’re all at museums! They’re at the park…DRESSED! They’re posting videos of A+ quality oinking!
I’ve been trying to make up my mediocrity by purchasing organic milk for Gus.
I think tomorrow I’m going to figure out Pinterest, and I’m on a two day Instagram suspension until people stop posting their homemade Halloween costumes. It’s November, and excessive.