Is Your Name Karen? Do You Know a Karen?

You know those times in life that you reflect and think, “Am I on the right path?” Then you realize that you are not. In fact, you’re no longer on the path. You are off in the bushes somewhere, picking razzleberries. Those aren’t even real, so you must be waaay off that path in a desert oasis, hallucinating.

Sometimes that’s where I am.

I was recently looking for a bike trailer, and a friend suggested Craigslist. I hadn’t been on in years, but maaaan, have I been missing out. Go to Craigslist, look under “personals,” then “missed connections.” They’re not all PG, so I have done the dirty work for you. Read them. It will make you feel so much better about your life. I may be off the path sometimes, but at least I’m still on the same planet.

Here is a nice compilation from around the Craigslist globe that I have collected while shirking my laundry duties.

...or male stripper? The highest of any Vegas compliments.
…or male stripper? The highest of any Vegas compliments.

All Karens, hit him up.
All Karens, hit him up.
Craigslist solves drinking problems.
Craigslist solves drinking problems.
He was a Han Solo in a sea of Chewbacas.
He was a Han Solo in a sea of Chewbacas.

Let’s take a look at the Phoenix area.
photo-52

He saved you from the fall you were unaware of.
He saved you from the fall you were unaware of.
Or is it the hot dogs you can't get off your mind?
Or is it the hot dogs you can’t get off your mind?

Uh oh, Steve Barr.
Uh oh, Steve Barr.

Let’s head to New Mexico. I had high expectations after 15 years of life in that state, and Albuquerque’s “missed connections” didn’t disappoint.

Has that pickup line had much success?
Has that pickup line had much success?
As a former NM resident, let me tell you that this person didn't knock out much of the state's population.
As a former NM resident, let me tell you that this person didn’t knock out much of the state’s population.
I hope your arm has healed from a few years ago.
I hope your arm has healed from a few years ago.

The missed connection was with the mental wellness.
The missed connection was with the mental wellness.

D.C. was a little more professional.
Let's talk like adults.
Like adults, on Craigslist.

Horns?
Horns?

That last sentence is my new chant every time I Google something.
That last sentence is my new chant every time I Google something.

Some people confuse Craigslist with their diary.photo-68
Poetic.
Poetic.

Miami. I love you, Miami.
This girl is cute. I would like to use my blog as a means to further her search.
I guess. I would like to use my blog as a means to further her search.
Question: Are we being honest about your age and body type combo?
Question: Are we being honest about your age and body type combo?
That age plus the glitter...I like it. Bet she was a Vegas transplant.
That age plus the glitter…I like it. Bet she was a Vegas transplant.

Huh...Huhhh. And, my accountant has lots and lots of my numbers. My phone number is one of them.
I mean, my accountant has my number, amongst many other things.

Ohhh Provo.
What does that "ask for my number" face look like? Similar to "post for me on Craigslist" face?
What does that “ask for my number” face look like? Similar to “post for me on Craigslist” face?

International! Canada:
This is a half-glass full guy.
This is a half-glass full guy.

Being a hair stylist, I'm worried she might be bald before you find her.
Being a hair stylist, I’m worried she might be bald before you find her.

Shout out to my Alma Mater:
Judging by the subject line, I have a guess as to where you're from...
Judging by the subject line, I have a guess as to where you’re from…

It’s the little things in life.

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3 Comments

  1. This is so strange! Do these people really think that the person they are looking for is sitting at home searching craigslist to see if maybe someone is looking for them? lol

    Next time I need some free entertainment I’ll just read craigslist adds!

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