I didn’t make any New Years resolutions, because I tend to make unrealistically lofty goals that are completely unattainable. Make my bed EVERY day? Keep my car completely free of crumbs? Become super holy? Incorporate kale into an artistically plated lunch for my children?
The pressure is stifling.
My 2017 Goals that lasted until January 8th:
1. YOLO (you only live once) more often
2. Get our self-employed financial future in focus.
Two weeks into January, I’ve realized these two 2017 goals are contradictory (like I can even have a YOLO mentality if I’m selling a kidney right after I hire my body out for surrogacy) and that resolutions are a terrible idea. I find myself thinking things like this at night:
You only live once, but from the retirement brochures I’ve recently pored over, Americans these days are really outliving their savings, making me question the financial soundness of YOLO-ing. You might only live once, but it could be an unexpectedly long time, so calm down everyone at the Nordstrom Half Yearly Sale.
If the YOLO situation is a potentially physically destructive feat, I’ll need to reevaluate. It’s ok, I guess, if my life insurance beneficiary is satisfied with my coverage amount.
The thought of the impending doom that is my real life financial responsibilities CRAMPING MY STYLE makes me want to just lay on the floor of my car and let the Goldfish crumbs engulf me. Let my burdens float away in a cloud of processed cheese.
So, actually, erase my name from the 2017 New Year’s Resolution lists, and don’t ever let “clean car” be a goal.