Any time “blog” comes up, people ask if mine is about beauty.
Umm, like the beautifully random innerworkings of a cluttered mind all spewed in one place? Yes.
But BEAUTY? I like beauty. I really like beauty.
I can talk beauty.
I can share with you my favorite lipsticks (I have an impressive collection, I won’t lie), favorite hair products (girrrrl, that I KNOW from years in salons), fashion, websites, self tanners, etc etc etc…but no.
Today, let me give you the real juice. You know, the tricks that all girls share amongst their best friends. Ghetto-ish yet very useful beauty tricks, tried and true by moi. (“Moi” to reinstate your faith in my classiness.)
Here are my favorite beauty secrets, even when I’m lazy, that hardly cost anything. I will ALWAYS love:
Press on nails. Yeah, like elementary school, except new and improved. They’re at Target, and come in fun, current shapes you may never take a chance on in the nail salon, great colors (matte!), and are perfect for just a few days. Any type of nails don’t last long with my job, so I love these for a fun change and then pop them off.
Or pop them off to show all your friends at your next girls night.
Tinkle my face. Yes, Tinkle. Not sure who was in charge of branding over at Tinkle and named it that, but it’s an awesome product and bathroom STAPLE that my friend Holly turned me on to and I’ve never gone back. Essentially, it’s dermablading your face…or shaving, if you don’t know what that means. If you think you don’t have a hairy face, YOU ARE WRONG. YOU HAVE A PELT. You can buy that new Dior bronzer, but I can see your it floating on your cheek hairs. No, you won’t cut your face unless you’re sawing it. No, your hair doesn’t grow back thicker or darker. Your skin will be exfoliated, hair free, feel smoother than every, and your makeup will look flawless.
Michelle Money has a YouTube tutorial on it riiiight here, in case you trust Michelle Money more than me and Holly.
(I dropped these off at a few friends’ houses recently, and I’d drop one off at yours, too, if I could.)
Blot your face with toilet seat covers. I can see you making a face at this through the screen, but listen: when your face eats makeup like mine does, you’ll try whatev. My friend Sable just shared this with me, and it’s kind of amazing. It’s a great sub in for blotting papers. While the covers aren’t quite the same, it does the job de-shining your face after a quick trip to the powder room.
Wash your face with honey. Not the kind from the bear. I’m talking real, REAL honey. Liiiiike, from a farmer’s market. You know, the sort of gritty kind? After removing makeup, massage it on clean, damp skin like a mask, leave it on just a minute (it will melt and get drippy if you leave it on too long), and wash it off. If my eczema, weird dermatitis-issues-prone skin loves this, yours definitely will. Your face will never feel softer (especially in conjunction with Tinkling). My all time favorite exfoliating face wash is Simple Sugars, a brand from Shark Tank, and I definitely treat myself to it! Honey is my second best (but free!) option.
Use this eyelash serum for the best eyelashes in the world. I’ve used a million…trust me. Grande Lash is amazing. Every single person I’ve recommended this to is obsessed. (I even double checked with my optometrist.) Super affordable. Put it on once in the morning, once in the evening, and in three weeks, you will text me all sort of sparkle heart emojis to thank me. I promise people will ask if your lashes are extensions after a couple months. I haven’t used it since April, and I’m still pretty good.
Go read other blogs to find sales (I’m pretty sure there’s one at Gap today!) (you’ll only think that’s funny if you’ve signed up for Gap emails), but if you want some ghetto fab beauty tricks that work, I’m your girl.
I said these were my secrets, and now I’m feeling so exposed. Please…share yours with me! I know you have some.