Autumn, Where Art Thou?

Here we are, the week of Halloween, and I’m still too warm here in Las Vegas. I hope it’s cooler where you are.

Is this an effect of global warming? If we can reverse global warming so I can actually wear boots in the fall, I’ll go green. I’ll start recycling, and not just at MAC. I’ll start wearing Teva sandals and reuse each water bottle at least twelve times. I will wear no makeup on Thursdays if that will help the Earth. Join in the fight to wear socially acceptable sweats and boots earlier!

(Maybe my knowledge about the causes and effects of global warming is limited, maybe.)

Anyway, I’m still a little toasty, and not feeling festive about my favorite time of the year.

BUT! We DID go to a pumpkin patch.
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Gus couldn't take his eyes off all the action.
Gus couldn’t take his eyes off all the action.
Gus loved seeing all the other kids! He walked around with this face everywhere we went and couldn’t focus on a camera. fall

Seeing this little man’s eyes light up makes it worth even a sweaty trick or treating session.

I am posting these pictures so that in the future, I will have skewed memories about Fall 2014 and think I initiated multiple, fun family activities, instead of being grumpy about the lack of fall weather.

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Operation Unplugged

Every once and a while, there are moments of time in your life that are absolutely perfect. They are untainted by social media, blaring TVs, phones, music, and all the other noise of the world. I have found that in my life as a mom, I’m forced to slow down a little. Thankfully, that change of pace allows me to recognize these sweet, shining moments that I’m sure I would otherwise miss. As I rock my baby at night, as I watch him teeter through an isle at the grocery store, and as I glance back at him in my car’s rear view mirror and am met with a big, gummy smile, I get a split second of Heaven.

Tonight, I felt that absolute peace as I watched Brian and Gus play together at the park. A little league baseball game nearby provided a happy soundtrack for the outing. My son’s giggle, punctuated by the crack of a baseball bat, is a sound I’ll cherish my whole life.

At these moments, I don’t look at my phone. At these moments, I realize nothing else in the whole world matters, because my whole world is right in front of me, sliding down a slide. No amount of annoyance or irritation from the day can possibly be held onto if I want to be completely and absolutely absorbed in this moment; a moment that I know I’ll reflect on someday and always want to relive. I’m currently working on cutting myself off from my main distraction-my phone-so I can love more fully, feel deeply, be wholly present, and not miss those horribly time-sensitive, perfect moments during the dusk of my son’s babyhood.

(From a different night, with my phone.)
(From a different night, with my phone.)
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Even The Guys in Drag Stopped Dancing.

One can always asses the level of craziness in her life by the state of her pedicure. Judging by my grown out, chipped, and low-quality, self-painted job from last month, it’s been a wild 30 days. (Note to self: blue was a bad choice.) We’ll just focus on this past week.

Brian started a new job. More to come later.
Brian had kidney stones. Bill to come later.
Gus is teething. He’ll be up in the night later.

The fun highlight of the week: I was puuuumped to have a fun girl’s night at the Britney Spear’s concert. She’s had a residency here in Las Vegas for a while, and I’ve been dying to go. I love her. I’ll always love Britney, because. Just because. Each of her songs takes me back to a different time in my life. Don’t lie, her songs have that effect on you, too. Her concert should have been a glittery, strobe light-y trip down memory lane, escorted by minimally clothed dancers. So nostalgic.

Instead, Britney just made us all uncomfortable and concerned for her mental well-being. The entire things was lip synced, which doesn’t bother me at all. She needed to save energy for Britney-dance moves! We as the audience, collectively, tried to turn a blind eye to her unenthusiastic, halfway hand motions some choreographer must have called dancing…for a few songs. Then, after more than a handful of episodes of Britney’s pausing on stage to pull her pants and tuck her hair, we felt bad. It was just like watching a third grader’s first dance performance, minus the endearment.

The gay guys, the straight girls, the bachelorette parties, and the transvestites stopped dancing and sat down. No more dancing. Chair dancing, only.

She had to have been under some kind of heavy medication. I still blame Kevin Federline.

Britney, standing.
Britney, standing.

Britney's signature move: raised arms.
Britney’s signature move: raised arms.
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I should buy a real camera.
I should buy a real camera.

I’m still a Britney fan. I’m worried that gay clubs may get wind and become partial to Lady Gaga now, but not if I’m the DJ.

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Doughnut-topia Themed Girl’s Trip

I hope you are blessed with friends that you can be completely immature around, make you laugh until it hurts, and make being stuck in traffic beyond entertaining.

I met some college friends in San Francisco for a self-made doughnut crawl. It was my first overnight experience without Gus, and I was a little anxious about it, but I definitely was not left with any time to the about it! I adore these girls, and I love the person I get to be around them.

I was only able to stay for about 24 hours, but Jessand Kim made itineraries to make sure we packed everything in. Best hostesses.
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Night view of the Painted Ladies, complete with Full House audio.
Night view of the Painted Ladies, complete with Full House audio.
Just some not-vegan heterosexuals in San Fran.
Just some not-vegan heterosexuals in San Fran.
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Just because they're pretty.
Just because they’re pretty.

Lots of food, laughing, and a little dancing (Janae’sstill got it.) What could be a better girl’s trip?

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To This Week’s Birthday Boy

Dear Gus,

You have a crazy mom. By the time you can read this, you’ll already know that.

When I was in labor, I was telling your daddy, “It’s probably going to take me a few months to truly love him, realistically. Just so you know.” It didn’t make sense that I could be capable of really even liking someone I barely met. I could never have known, even in those perfect seconds before I held you for the first time, how completely I would love you…instantly. My practical side that convinced me it was impossible to love someone I didn’t know shattered into oblivion as soon as I saw you. My heart knew you. My heart recognized you. Something inside of me had been waiting to hold you forever, and was so ecstatic to hold you, I physically felt it.

Gus, my sweet baby was born, and within minutes, Ashton, the mom, was born.

She’s a little more high strung than I would have imagined. I know.

Your first week or two, I couldn’t put you down. My arms and back were so sore from holding you, but I refused to deny you (and myself) any opportunity for cuddling. Between your dad and I, you didn’t get much alone time.

That may be foreshadowing of the next eighteen years. We can’t get enough of you! I can’t find words to articulate how much we adore you, how enamored we are watching you discover the world, how much light your fun personality brings to our home, and how much we love you. I never expected motherhood to be so enchanting! A little sticky, a little stinky, but magical.

Happy birthday, baby Gus. Will you always be my little guy?

I Love You,
Mommy

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I get the feeling time is trying to cheat me.
I get the feeling time is trying to cheat me.

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